Sweet holy Jesus my fucking ears hurt already

Two days into this stupid lame-ass "listening tour" and I feel like my fucking ears are gonna fall off. Whose idea was this? Jesus. Do you realize how absolutely stupid 99% of the population actually is? I mean like animal stupid. And lucky me gets to sit there and listen to Ma and Pa Kettle ramble on about what they want from their government. One of them today was talking about fucking leash laws. I'm like, Lady, I'm about to be the ruler of the fucking free world, and you're talking to me about leash laws? Jesus!

What cracks me up about listening tours is that wherever you go, no matter who you're talking to, they always want the same thing. "Give us more free shit, and make those other guys, the (fill in blank) ones, pay all the taxes instead of us." And the poor dumb bastards want this so bad that they never doubt you when you nod your head and go, Okay, fine, no problem, great, I'll get right on it.

Frankly I think the entire system -- this whole notion of having a "democracy," with "elections," and "candidates" who "compete" -- is just ridiculous. Do you realize how much money is going to be wasted on this song and dance we call a primary? And then the election itself? And we're just going to get the same result. I'm going to be the Democratic nominee, and I'm going to destroy whichever born-again moron the Republicans decide to put up. But no, we can't just appoint me president. That would make too much sense. So all of these millions and billions of dollars, dollars that could be spent on providing free health care to all Americans, instead will go into the pockets of consultants and advertising agencies and big television networks. Well, I'm informed by my so-called "experts" that there's no other way.

But Jesus I hate having to sit there listening to these inbred retards and forcing a smiling and trying to pretend like I really give a shit about what they want. I can't tell you how hard that is.