I'm in it to win it.

And by "it," I mean the presidential election. That's right. Take a good long look at those sexy eyes, that fetching fake smile. Like it or not, I'm going to be your next president. And look -- I'm not stupid. I know people don’t like me. But whatever. Who else are you going to nominate? John Kerry? Al Gore? God help you if either of those bozos takes over. Jesus fucking Christ. John Edwards? One word for him and you know what it is: Miss. And not like "I'm gonna miss having a job." It's more like, "Excuse me, Miss, do you really think you can be president?" Seriously. (Seriously, that's our guys call him. Carville started it. He says it was the code name that Secret Service used for Edwards during the last election. Kerry was "Lurch," and Edwards was "Miss." I'm not even joking.) As for Barack Obama, he’s a sweet kid, but come on. I’ve got tougher guys than that in my stool. Serously, you might as well start calling me “Madam President” right now. I’ve got the money, I’ve got the backing, and best of all I’ve got The Bastard (you know who I’m talking about) running strategy. This is a no brainer.